A First Touch Of Lunacy......

From Lord Truth 11th April 2006

I should be introducing this space with something stunning or riveting but in fact since my mind frequently turns to what I call -and I will be expounding this at length in the future- 'The War Against The British 'I will first mention the grotesque little absurdity that was involved in setting up this site.......

For one has first for some reason, to choose a 'time'setting.... and clicking on the setting one meets hundreds of the most bizarre, complex, bewildering, unheard of places and names and time settings imaginable....

Now why is this? The fact is that until after WW II ,the world used one international time:Greenwich Mean Time or GMT.After the war however,when the British Empire had begun to end, the Americans decided that they resented a place in London still being used as the centre for the worlds time and introduced Universal Time which was essentially GMT but with another name.

Now its true that there are some technical reasons important to scientists for not using GMT but in no way do they affect the millions of normal international time users.....

Using Universal Time immediately produces hilariously idiotical confusion.... 'If its Universal Time, why isnt it the same time in Paris as in New York? ..Well you see UT is six hours behind Paris...So time is measured from Paris? Well no ..But it must be MEASURED from somewhere!! Well it is ....From where ?Well from a place called Greenwhich actually...Wheres Greenwich...?Er..in London actually ..So why dont they call it Greenwhich Time and add or subtract hours from the time there? Well they do actually but we Americans feel upset that those pesky British still claim this time thing as coming from London...

Fortunately ,despite American efforts, GMT is still used by the world and broadcasters ,but anyone looking for a bit of lunacy should check out that 'time'listing...

But would you believe it thats not the only example of the American inferiority complex regarding things British, because you also have to make a choice of language.
Think thats easy if you speak good old English? Its true there is American and British English-though an enormous amount of nonsense is talked about their differences-perhaps a dozen words maybe that everyone knows...-lift = elevator,colour = color etc but the differences are in reality minimal...

But ,would you believe it, the list offered does not simply show American and British English (as all textbooks etc call them)
They show Canadian, Australian, NewZealand, United Kingdom,Irish and Indian English.!!! Curiously they do not show Nigerian ,Barbados,Bermudan or Singapore English,all places among dozens where English is also an official language...!!

The traditional inferiority complexes of Australians towards Britain are well known but do they go round saying they speak 'Australian English' and not British English?

Its true that Aussie slang is distinctly Aussie-a hundred different words for the penis alone I believe and the accent is distinctive -true true!...but the language ?---surely Aussies havent thrown out the word British to describe it?

But of course, and here this nonsense stops being a kind of joke and becomes something sickly, indeed menacing..images of Bosnia ,bombs in Northern Ireland,Spain ,New York, London,Paris, float across ones imagination....

Suddenly one realises that yes, there are people whose spite and screwed up sense of inferiority could make them reject the name of their own language......

Meanwhile,the Americans (I presume )who have compiled these loony lists could perhaps sort them out into something more normal....

Of course with the present ongoing demonstrations in the States concerning immigrants -mainly South American- few of whom bother to learn English of any kind , and with their soaring birthrate,in twenty years or so America will be a largely Spanish speaking nation... Now that will introduce an interesting situation.....